A Man and A Wedding

Here's what men really know about the wedding industry... aka, not much.

It is always a risky subject to broach, when you are in a long term relationship, but haven’t necessarily had the “talk” yet. You know what I mean. The wedding talk. Men just don’t seem to know and that’s okay, while they may want to have a wedding, their ideas of what is most important are completely different from the women’s point of view. They also don’t research and dream about the wedding day like a woman. So I did something that almost gave my boyfriend a heart attack…

 I asked him wedding questions.

His answers were mostly hilarious, mostly wrong, but some were insightful. Now granted I have never heard such raving and ranting as I did when I told him what a wedding cake costs. I’m talking full blown incredulousness, then some yelling, then the exclamation that we are not going to get married, simply because we just can’t afford it, and are going to be glorified roommates for the rest of our lives together. But at the prompting of just going to the courthouse and having a little civil ceremony, he bashfully said that he wanted a big white wedding. So they do think about a wedding, but what exactly do they want out of one? Obviously, most of the time, they are the ones who ask a woman to marry them, so they must think about it, but what parts of a wedding do they think about, or are they more about the final forever outcome of the wedding day?

Background: Jonny and I have been dating for two and a half years, bought a house together six months ago, lived together for a year before that. We were also good friends three years before we decided to take the plunge.

To start off, I wanted to see what his idea about costs compared to the national averages from 2016. I pulled this information from the ever helpful The Knot.


The Knot


Average Wedding Cost



Most Expensive Place to get Married


San Francisco

Least expensive place to get married


Cleveland (his first answer was his tiny little hometown of Heppner, OR)

Average spent on a wedding dress



Average age of bride and groom

Bride: 29    Groom: 31

Bride: 22  Groom: 24

Average number of guests



Average number of bridesmaids/groomsmen

Bridesmaid: 5       Groomsmen: 5

Bridesmaids: 4   Groomsmen: 4

Most popular month to get engaged



Average Length of engagement

15 months

1.357 years

Most popular month to get married



Popular wedding colors

Dark Blue, Gold, Light Pink

Champagne, Pink, Purple, Navy Blue

Percentage of destination weddings






Next I wanted to see a man’s perspective of what are the top five most important things to a groom about a wedding:

#1. That the Bride is happy. That’s it for all five answers. (Well, he is not wrong…)

                But here are his real answers

#1. The Groomsmen, and that those who are most important to him are with him.

#2. Make the day special for her

#3. The turnout of friends and family

#4. The party

#5. The ceremony


And here are what he believes are the top five most important things for a bride:

#1. The Venue

#2. The Dress

#3. The vows

#4. That the wedding and reception go well

#5. That the groom shows up


There were and are so many more questions that I could ask. I mean this does not begin to cover most of it, but honestly I didn’t want to give Jonny a heart attack any more than he already was. I believe that a man does think about the wedding day, but he isn’t about the details, and the look. He is more about the party, the having a good time, and celebrating with the people who are important to him. I also think that they believe that this is just literally “her day”. And in their minds that this part of the whole process of getting to the being married part.

So what do you think? Obviously, this is the reactions of one man in millions, but I think his answers and reactions are pretty typical for the average man.

Want a follow up? Send me your wedding topics you would like to have answered!

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